Nov 01

Jaymi’s Testimony

Article by Jake LeFave

We had the joy of baptizing Jaymi as she made her public commitment to following Jesus through the waters of baptism. Read Jaymi’s testimony below.

I was raised in church, and I have never doubted that God was the Creator. But I did not know what a relationship with Jesus meant. If He forgave my sins, was everywhere, and knew everything, what did I really have to work on in my everyday life? I felt like I wasn’t Christian enough to have Christian friends, I was afraid of being judged for my beliefs or being faced with questions I couldn’t answer, and I was uncomfortable about the societal pressures of what it meant to be a Christian (and especially a Christian woman). I felt like if God wanted to change my life, it wouldn’t be my life anymore. So I decided to live by actions and decisions that were only intended to satisfy myself.” 

As I got older, I entered into relationships that did not seem fulfilling. And in them, I was carrying the weight of my actions, making me feel like I was unworthy of honest and pure love. I didn’t even know what complete and honest love felt like, and was beginning to doubt if it was even attainable for me. Fear, control, and anxiety were always tied up in each other and I felt like I was always searching for something to make me feel like my life was going according to my plan. 

Deep down I knew that a mutual love of God was the missing piece in my love with others, but I didn’t know what that looked like. When I was forced to consider my own actions and intentions during a breakup, I found shame and guilt. My search for grace led me to prayer, and in prayer, I was overcome with a sense of forgiveness. That was when I knew He was there with me, and that I was being called to begin a relationship with Him. I truly felt Him forgive me for actions that I had been too afraid to confess as sins. I found His forgiveness and grace and He showed me that He was what I needed to move forward. 

God’s grace means that I no longer have to carry my fears and regrets with me. Instead of worrying about my plans or my timing, I get to place those anxieties on Him – when I know His plans and His timing are perfect. Now I live with my full trust in Him, knowing that He has a better plan for me than I could ever imagine. I can completely free, open, and honest in my relationship with Him, knowing He has made me worthy of His love and of an eternal life with Him. Living in His boundless love for me is more freeing than any plan I could have ever dreamed of.